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I Am the Master of Catching Colds – and I Can Share with You How to Avoid One

Around this period the previous year, I ended up on a TV programme in the company of three performers. Included were a Ghanaian-origin rapper, a big pop star, and an acclaimed classical singer. We were in the heart of winter. The night before, I celebrated a close friend's milestone birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space somewhere in Surrey. It was an enjoyable evening, but now, simply to make conversation, I questioned how one could prevent getting a cold when half the people at the party were part of an orchestra of winter ailments. Incidentally, why do certain individuals blow their noses so loudly, and others don’t? A topic for future discussion.

The Response of the Singers

Upon referencing the party, these three musicians in the TV green room did two things. To begin with, they shrunk away from me slightly. Second, they engaged in a feverishly enthusiastic discussion on how to avoid catching colds that understandable due to their profession was almost an obsession. I get that, but I'm also deeply invested – I must avoid colds at all costs since my colds are more severe than others'. There's no doctor's note to prove it, but I firmly believe it. My illnesses drag on. I experience worse nasal blockage, my throat feels rougher, my coughs are harsher, more persistent and seem infinite. Those at home, alert to the initial throat noises indicating trouble ahead, either kick me out of the room or evacuate the area. When I worked as a sports broadcaster, my teammates behind the scenes became familiar with the indicators. “Cans off!” the studio director would holler to his team prior to me blasting their ears, overloading their audio gear.

Dealing With Nasal Congestion

Regarding my nasal issues, don’t start me. Aerosols, liquids, including the intense vapor from heated brandy my mother recommends … they all work for a while before admitting defeat. Nothing is quite as sad than a Brummie tone uttered with blocked nasal passages. I mean, it can sound nasal even normally. Fortunately, this often brings compassion, which isn't ideal. When I started college, without my mother's home remedies, the cleaner in our halls of residence took pity on me. “I’ve got just the thing for that, you dear. Be right back.” She was extremely kind, distinctly Irish, and very insistent that I ate the uncooked, peeled onion she brought to my sickbed. She observed me eating it. Bless her. No improvement resulted, unfortunately, except for upsetting my stomach and creating bad breath.

The Mezzo-Soprano’s Prevention Strategy

Therefore, I loathe winter illnesses and firmly believe avoiding is superior to treating which whether folk remedies or not, fail to help. I listened intently together with the other artists while she explained her health practices. With forthcoming bookings to sing for her supper over Christmas, she approached it with great diligence. She instructed us to sanitize hands regularly throughout the winter from what I gathered in addition, there were special precautions required during festivities. Before any event, she advised several sprays of a nasal spray up each nostril – even if healthy. Extreme. I like it. And, listen to this, she insisted on following it up after the party with another couple of squirts of the same stuff.

My Experience

I adopted the method. And I can report I snuffled not once all last winter. There were downsides: the numerous products I purchased, misplaced, reacquired, found, and more. Plus the frustrating time when you discover you've crushed the hand sanitizer kept in your jeans and it's leaking all over. However, a small cost for the benefit. With winter returning, I'm fully prepared with her prevention arsenal. I’m ready for battle.

JR
The writer

Jason Randolph

Eleanor is a historian and consultant specializing in British monarchy and heritage.

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